So, what happened to all that daylight time we saved? Shouldn't we have enough banked, with interest, so that we could spend a little now and people who leave work at 5 p.m. wouldn't have to endure driving home after sunset? Obviously they are not up to the task.
Today was the first workday following the time change and it appeared to me that workday commuters here in Salem seemed to be having extraordinary difficulty negotiating the twilight drive. Idiots were out in abundance at every intersection. People trying to pull out and cross traffic in rush hour. Even business parking lots were filled with impatient morons trying to get five more feet in an all-fired hurry.
It was as if the dimming light turned every driver into a dimwit. Pedestrians weren't any brighter, as I saw about four people standing in the middle of a narrow residential street, in the apparent aftermath of a fender-bender, running the risk of being run-down by drivers who could not see them on the dark street.
How long will it be before daylight saving time returns? I need as much light as possible to see the idiots coming at me from all directions in what should be a simple 4-mile commute.
Showing posts with label drivers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drivers. Show all posts
Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, August 12, 2005
Snickering at the misfortune of others
People are idiots. Unfortunately modern society and technology have turned Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest on its head. I'm convinced there are more morons per capita over the age of 18 living today than ever in history.
As evidence I offer the following observation. This morning I was driving to work, zipping up Market Street so I wouldn't be late for a meeting. Up ahead, in the right hand lane of travel, is a van. And it's not moving. It is sitting there at the right edge of the traffic lane with its hazard lights flashing.
At first I thought maybe the car was just moving slowly. But, it quickly becomes evident that this car is going to impede my travel if I stay in this lane. So, I slow down and ease over into the left lane.
As I pass the van I look over to try to figure out why the car was stopped in the road. There is someone sitting behind the wheel and there are no obvious signs of mechanical failure on the van detectable while driving past at 25-30 mph. No smoke, no shredded tire (on the driver's side anyway). The hood was not up. Just the hazard lights flashing.
I keep checking back into the rear view mirror after I pass, perplexed by the morning oddity. A moment later I see another vehicle swerve to avoid the motionless van occupying space in the motion lane.
Then I see a small SUV in the right hand lane behind me, and he seems to be booking right along. So, I watch the mirror to see when this car will swerve. Instead I see the van lurch forward and skew a bit in the traffic lane.
Yep, it appeared that the van got rear-ended by the SUV. But I was a fair distance down the road by then, so I couldn't tell for sure. I know, but I don't know, ya know?
Oh, and yes, I absolutely laughed. Idiots are funny. Idiots and bent metal: fucking hysterical.
I'm not sure who was the bigger idiot, the schmuck that parked the van on a road with no shoulder, or the SUV driver that was ignoring one of the key requirements of operating a motor vehicle, which is to WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU!
I'm going with the SUV driver as the bigger of the boobs, as I'm giving the van driver the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the van broke down. But if the driver just stopped in front of a house so someone could run in for a second or something like that, then both drivers got what they deserved this morning.
Unfortunately, technology has made it damn difficult to make a fatal error anymore. Thing like seat belts, airbags and safety engineered construction save a lot of people from serious injury or death when they do something stupid.
In the interest of full discloser, I do plenty of stupid shit behind the wheel. For example, I figure you only go to a drive-through window at a restaurant if the plan is to also eat while behind the wheel.
Not fucking smart, I know.
And when I crash into you when you turn in front of me without using your blinker then we can argue over who the biggest dunce is. Of course we can stand in the street arguing while lookyloos creep past us in their cars while yacking on their cell phones to some other putz who is also driving while talking on their cell phone in the off moments when they aren't turning around to yell at the kicks in the back seat.
Seatbelt laws and airbags are fucking with natural selection. Let's get rid of them. Oh, and helmet laws for motorcyclists too.
I would suggest we get rid of condoms too, but then we'd just have even more idiots impregnating someone a few short days before they crash into a train because they were scratching their balls due to an unexplained burning and itch. Death by STD, but not before they spread their moronic weedseed.
OK, enough ranting. It's time for dinner. I'm off to the Carl's Jr. drive-thru. Give me a shout out on my cell if you want to chat.
Morning commute
Drivers
Idiots
As evidence I offer the following observation. This morning I was driving to work, zipping up Market Street so I wouldn't be late for a meeting. Up ahead, in the right hand lane of travel, is a van. And it's not moving. It is sitting there at the right edge of the traffic lane with its hazard lights flashing.
At first I thought maybe the car was just moving slowly. But, it quickly becomes evident that this car is going to impede my travel if I stay in this lane. So, I slow down and ease over into the left lane.
As I pass the van I look over to try to figure out why the car was stopped in the road. There is someone sitting behind the wheel and there are no obvious signs of mechanical failure on the van detectable while driving past at 25-30 mph. No smoke, no shredded tire (on the driver's side anyway). The hood was not up. Just the hazard lights flashing.
I keep checking back into the rear view mirror after I pass, perplexed by the morning oddity. A moment later I see another vehicle swerve to avoid the motionless van occupying space in the motion lane.
Then I see a small SUV in the right hand lane behind me, and he seems to be booking right along. So, I watch the mirror to see when this car will swerve. Instead I see the van lurch forward and skew a bit in the traffic lane.
Yep, it appeared that the van got rear-ended by the SUV. But I was a fair distance down the road by then, so I couldn't tell for sure. I know, but I don't know, ya know?
Oh, and yes, I absolutely laughed. Idiots are funny. Idiots and bent metal: fucking hysterical.
I'm not sure who was the bigger idiot, the schmuck that parked the van on a road with no shoulder, or the SUV driver that was ignoring one of the key requirements of operating a motor vehicle, which is to WATCH THE FUCKING ROAD IN FRONT OF YOU!
I'm going with the SUV driver as the bigger of the boobs, as I'm giving the van driver the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the van broke down. But if the driver just stopped in front of a house so someone could run in for a second or something like that, then both drivers got what they deserved this morning.
Unfortunately, technology has made it damn difficult to make a fatal error anymore. Thing like seat belts, airbags and safety engineered construction save a lot of people from serious injury or death when they do something stupid.
In the interest of full discloser, I do plenty of stupid shit behind the wheel. For example, I figure you only go to a drive-through window at a restaurant if the plan is to also eat while behind the wheel.
Not fucking smart, I know.
And when I crash into you when you turn in front of me without using your blinker then we can argue over who the biggest dunce is. Of course we can stand in the street arguing while lookyloos creep past us in their cars while yacking on their cell phones to some other putz who is also driving while talking on their cell phone in the off moments when they aren't turning around to yell at the kicks in the back seat.
Seatbelt laws and airbags are fucking with natural selection. Let's get rid of them. Oh, and helmet laws for motorcyclists too.
I would suggest we get rid of condoms too, but then we'd just have even more idiots impregnating someone a few short days before they crash into a train because they were scratching their balls due to an unexplained burning and itch. Death by STD, but not before they spread their moronic weedseed.
OK, enough ranting. It's time for dinner. I'm off to the Carl's Jr. drive-thru. Give me a shout out on my cell if you want to chat.
Morning commute
Drivers
Idiots
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Irony
Q: Who is the voice of AIG auto insurance on the company's TV commercials?
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A: Stockard Channing.
I wonder if AIG is her insurance company and if they will stick by her if she is convicted of driving under the influence.
By the way, Channing celebrated her 61st birthday this week. She was born Feb. 13, 1944.
Dear God, she's almost my mom's age. She's too hot to be nearly my mother's age.
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