I need to rent a wife. No, not for THAT, but if THAT was part of the package, I wouldn't object.
No, I need some new clothes, and I need a shopping consultant. OK, maybe I don't need to rent a wife, maybe I just need a stylist. But a stylist sounds so, well, so not me. OK, so I've never been married so, maybe having a wife, rented or otherwise, isn't me either.
But I could use some help in picking out some new clothes. as much as anything, I need someone to make me try on the clothes I'm shopping for and someone to give me a candid opinion if things don't fit correctly.
I know what types of clothes I like and want, I just hate shopping and take a lot of shortcuts in the shopping process, I may try on one pair of slack or one shirt and then grab other clothes the same size, even if they are made by a different manufacturer, which may mean they won't fit the same.
Also, something odd overcomes me when I'm in a fitting room. I tend to go with slacks that are too long. I think it comes down to a fear of getting slacks that are too short and I'll end up parading around like the floodwaters are about to flow over the tops of my shoes. Jeans that are a bit too long works OK. Slacks that drag on the ground -- not such a good look.
Of course, wearing thread-bare shirts with worn-out collars and cuffs is not a good look either. Fortunately, I take full advantage of casual Fridays and wear jeans one day a week because I don't have slacks to span 5 days.
It's time for new clothes.
Maybe I can post an ad a rent-a-wife on craigslist.
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