The check was in the mail.
On my trip to the mailbox, I found it empty and my heart sank a little. I was so counting on that check to arrive today. So I went back into the house and busied myself with a whole lotta nothin' and tried to put it out of my mind. Yes, I need the money, and rent's due in a few days, but I'm no more cash poor this month than I have been the last several. I'll survive. It's not like I'm starving.
But I was hungry. So I stepped out to head to bank to withdraw some more money from the ATM, all the while wondering which bill I would pay late so I could afford a cheeseburger. On a whim, I decided to go by the mailbox one more time. It was empty before. Maybe I just checked the box too early and the mail hadn't arrived yet. After all, how many days are there when I don't receive at least one bill or piece of junk mail?
And there it was. Envelope with a familiar zipcode. I rushed back into the house to open it. And sure enough, the check was there. And not for the discounted price I thought I might be getting for the ring, but the full asking price (minus the store's 10 percent commission).
So I am in the mood to celebrate. After a trip to two banks -- the first one was out of deposit envelopes -- and a stop at a burger joint, I headed out to begin my celebration at the most obvious place I could think of: Borders bookstore.
Last night I finished reading a Stephen King book that I bought a couple of months ago when heading out on a business trip. It was book six of his Dark Tower saga. I remember vividly reading the first three books of the series. But I don't know if I read the fourth or fifth installments or not. I'd have to check my bookshelf. But reading the sixth one reinvigorated my interest in the characters, and the quest, we all embarked on so long ago. As I finished the 6th book, it was apparent that the next installment would be the last, and perhaps Kings' last work altogether. Heck, if King can even consider giving up his writing muse (he writes in "Song of Susannah: The Dark Tower VI" that he might retire at the end of The Dark Tower series) then I can certainly give up a simple blog.
Anyway, after a little research I found out the the seventh and final installment is already out and soon to be out in paperback, so I headed to Borders to see if I could find it. I did, eventually, after traipsing all over the store. My mission when I walked in was to find one specific book. I walked out with four. I think I just reminded myself why I don't go into bookstores very often. It's like crack cocaine or something.
So, soon I will crack open a new book and start a new chapter. But this my friends, as advertised, is the end of this chapter and this tale. I have to tell you I have greatly missed coming here already. And I feel the pull to post quite strongly, or at the very least to write -- something -- but it's finally shape has not yet come to me. And it just doesn't feel like this would be the right place to launch that new story. This was a place of healing for me, and I am eternally grateful for having found this place and the caretakers and visitors who came by to aid in my healing. But a sick person doesn't stay in the hospital after they are well just because that's where they got better. Well, I can't stay here either.
When I bought that ring it was the symbol of love and a promise of forever. Then that love was betrayed and the ring was returned to me. At that point all I had was the raw emotion of pain and the symbol for a love that I was then still feeling at its height. The pain eventually faded. As did the feelings of love. But for a long time the ring remained, it's empty center a bitter reminder of something lost or missing. Well, the one that ring once wound around is no longer something missing in my life. A part of my past and part of what has made me who I am to be sure, but no longer a source of longing. I feel whole and happy and reinvigorated. I am living life and ready for the opportunity to love again. And I may have already found that too.
So good riddance to the ring and a sad but fond farewell to by friends at the Fishwrap. May you all find the love and adventures you seek. I'm off to celebrate. Perhaps with a nice premium tequila and a fine cigar. Or maybe a nice red wine and curling up with a new book. Or maybe just a nice walk on a cool summer night. Maybe I should check my Powerball numbers too.
You never know, today could end up being the best day of my life so far!
The world is full of prospects and possibilities. I'm off to explore some of them.
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