I'm profoundly bored.
I don't remember being this bored since I was a kid. The most enduring emotion I remember from childhood, particularly during the elementary school years, was boredom.
When I was in second grade we moved from living in town in Nebraska, with lots of neighbors and at least two playmates nearby to living out in the middle of nowhere in Oregon. I was so jealous of the kids who lived in town. They could see each other on weekends, walk to the school playground, walk to the store. That was freedom baby. Our closest neighbor was about a half mile away, and the closest one with kids my age was 2 miles away.
Until I got old enough to ride my bike, and later a motorcycle, to a neighbor's house I was trapped. There was NOTHING TO DO, or so it seemed to an 8 year old.
Well, that's how bored I've been feeling this weekend. It's not that I don't have stuff I could do, or even should do, there's just nothing I want to do. I don't know what I want to do and it's driving me crazy.
Some years back I used to have a problem of overobligating myself to events and activities. It started in high school and continued in college. I got involved in extracurricular activities, clubs, etc. I lived by my date book. It would get to the point where I would feel overwhelmed. Part of the problem was that I couldn't say no when people asked me if I wanted to do something or get involved in something.
Once I got into my career, I poured all that time and energy into my work. I eventually learned that putting that much time and energy into work meant if work went bad life pretty much sucked. I had to learn to say no and I had to learn to relax.
I may have learned that lesson too well. I eventually got to the point where I did nothing on weekend. I was a slug. A couch potato. A mushroom. But I rarely felt bored like this. I think it is because I was living in the desert and surrounded by the desert sun which nourished the body.
I turned down a couple of social invitations this weekend and now I'm regretting it. But the truth is, I haven't really felt like getting out and being with people.
Maybe it's the lack of sunshine and a case of seasonal affective disorder. I'm bored and tired and utterly lacking motivation.
OK, I'm going to try to shake off this lethargy and get something accomplished with the rest of my day. At least get some laundry done. And maybe take a nap.
Boredom
Seasonal Affective Disorder
5 comments:
lol. This is ironic. Kevin just asked me, "What's G-Man writing about? Is the rain getting to him yet?" As I told him you hadn't posted this week-end, you were posting. ;-)
I still think you should hit the tanning beds for a few minutes a couple times a week. (It helped me, when I lived there)
Hope you get your motivation up, at least to take that nap!
;-)3T
Come on over, I will give you something to do!
A little Zen might help (whatever "Zen" is):
1) You're not an Afghani woman
2)you don't live in northern Pakistan
3)the rain cleanses (notice how the vowel sound changes with the simple addition of "es?")
4)you get informative emails without even asking for them
:--)
I'm glad you are still smoke free. But it seems since you have been, you also are bored a lot of the times.
Looks like you need a new hobby. I hear there's a great pub in Salem to hagout at. ;)
Crash the wedding and stand up for nonRSVPers everywhere. Watch 'em scramble, that'll save you some boredom and give you something to blog about later.
Also, if you think someone you know, knows about your blog and is just lurking, write about them. Nothing delurks someone faster. :)
Good luck cutting back on the gum and keeping yourself busy.
Lois Lane
T, I still prefer to get my sunlight from the sun!
And Brat, just what did you have in mind?
GRT, you always have a way of putting things in perspective. Enjoy your cleansing desert sun!
And Lois, you may be right about the nicotine withdrawal as a contributing factor. I am much more fidgety and aware of those quiet times. I have a hard time sitting still as nerves twitch. The tempation to just run to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes or a can of dip has been pervasive. However, I will resist the temptation to write about my suspected lurker, even if it means the blog posts pretty much suck lately!
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