Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The impact of tragedy proportional to proximity

Entire communities of my neighbors in Oregon and Washington have been under water this week. Lives, homes and business have been devastated just weeks before Christmas. Power and phone service is still out in many places.

Given the ordeal so many are having to face, I'm fortunate to have a place to live that's warm and dry. For many, a sense of normalcy is weeks, maybe months away and who knows how many lives will be changed forever.

Yet, I can't get out of my own head. I'm wrapped up in my own, seemingly petty and insignificant issues.

I've been agonizing about how or whether to attend my grandmother's funeral half a continent away. I've decided countless times to go and to not go. I think I'm sure that I won't be going. Time and money are just too short, but those seem like such shallow reasons not to go. My parents are actually advising me not to go, which confuses, more than clarifies, the situation.

I want to be there. Not for my grandmother. Funerals aren't for deceased, they are ceremonies for the living to grieve and mourn. I thought my mom would want the support, but if what she says is true, my presence may potentially do more harm than good.

So, I'm not going. I'm sure this time.

I think.

I just don't feel good about the fact that at this point in my life I'm not in a position to do this one thing. It's a small thing, or should be, but it's become so huge somehow.

1 comment:

: JustaDog said...

Too bad the Oregon communities aren't predominately black - they you'd get all sorts of handouts and even debit cards with $1,000 each!

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