Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sold my soul for a sawbuck

My morals are slipping.

Money has been tight lately. Very tight. Extremely tight. So tight that this week I found myself with my bank balances at zero. I've been raiding the coin jar to pay for food all week. Fortunately there was a stockpile of quarters in the jar from the days I was collecting them to use the coin-operated machine in the laundry room. The next option was to collect cans for the recycling deposit. One day this weekend my entire diet, lunch and dinner consisted of tortilla chips and salsa. Another day I ate one meal. I've skipped several meals in recent days because I have no food in the house and no funds to acquire any.

Yep, I'm broke.

I finally got some folding money back in my pocket last night after meeting a friend for dinner. We were each paying for our own meals. I paid with plastic and he used cash, so I picked up the tab and pocketed the cash.

I stopped off for dinner at a local fast-food place on my way home from work and handed the $10 I had left to the cashier. Obviously her head wasn't in the game because she handed me $15 back in change.

I thought for a spit second about whether to do the right thing and telling her that I had paid with a 10 and not a 20.

Then I remembered the zero balances on my bank statements and the fact that I still have a few meals to buy before I get paid and did the selfish thing. I pocked the money and drove off.

I know I should feel guilty. But Lord help me, I can't. The lack of cash -- and meals -- is affecting my judgment. My waistline can certainly afford for me to skip an occasional meal, but this has been ridiculous. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just wanted to eat and survive until payday.

***

On the theme of money, here are 10 songs about money from my iPod.

M-O-N-E-Y -- Lyle Lovett
What Do You Do For Money Honey -- AC/DC
Workin' Man's Dollar -- Chris LeDoux
Money for Nothing -- Dire Straits
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is -- JET
You Think I Ain't Worth a Dollar But I Feel Like a Millionaire -- Queens of the Stone Age
I Need Some Money -- John Lee Hooker

Life Is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back -- Meat Loaf
Can't Buy You Money -- Toby Keith
Last Dollar (Fly Away) -- Tim McGraw


Bonus track
Your Cash Ain't Nothin' But Trash -- Huey Lewis & The News

1 comment:

Gene said...

Wonderful can of worms you've opened up there, poops!

Did Jean Valjean suffer from a slipped morality? Did Antigone? Lots of wiggle room there.

Now guilt...Ah. Guilt comes in many guises. They are especially recognizable to a recovering Catholic...what with confession and all...I know guilt when I see it.

In two weeks, after the next payday, go back and say, "Oops!"

:-)

The End Debt Daily paper.li