Tuesday, September 07, 2010


I've had this craving for a while and I can't shake it. That's probably because I don't know what I'm craving.

I'm hungry, even when I'm full. I'm thirsty, even after drinking lots of water. It's as if my body -- my brain -- is missing something it absolutely must have. I just don't know what it is.

It's driving me crazy. It's making me restless.

I don't know how to handle this restlessness in my budget conscious state. Back in the debt-building time, it was this sort of restless rumbling that used to send me off on some sort of impulsive buying binge or would prompt me to hop in the car and head out on some road trip.

Now, I don't know what to do. I look in the fridge. I open the cabinets. I stare longingly at the computer screen waiting for inspiration on what I should be doing.

The insomnia is coming back. I need a change. I need a focus. I need a destination. What, the hell am I looking for?

But there are no answers.

I want something. Something else. I just don't know what it is or where to look for it.

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