Monday, December 05, 2005

When you don't want a diamond to be forever

If I ever ask a woman to marry me again, if that idea ever crosses my mind, will someone please remind me NOT to do it on a major holiday?!?!

Two years ago on Christmas Eve I gave a woman a diamond ring and asked her to marry me. It made for a fantastic Christmas at the time, because she said yes. It was all very festive.

For a while.

She gave the ring back less than 6 months later.

Somehow, I got through the holiday season last year. Needless to say, I wasn't very much in the holiday spirit. I don't remember much about the holiday actually. I was with family, which was good, but it is mostly a blur. It was a date to endure.

Now, a year later, I wasn't anticipating this to be a particularly difficult holiday. The broken heart had healed. Right? And it's not like I'm a blubbering idiot or an overly emotional sap, but there are fucking reminders of that Christmas 2 years ago everywhere I seem to look. And it's starting to piss me off. All those damn jewelers and their holiday commercials are conspiring to torment me.

Now, I had waited 38 years before proposing marriage to a woman, so I certainly didn't expect it to become a failed engagement. And I certainly wouldn't want to go into another engagement, should that opportunity ever arise, thinking of what some date on a calendar will mean to me in the aftermath of another failed engagement or, God forbid, a failed marriage. But still. I don't think I would choose to pop the big question on Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, or any other date on the calendar society uses for social celebrations. You know. Just. Well. Just in case.

Perhaps that sounds a tad pessimistic. And lord knows when you are in love that is not a pessimistic time. So who knows. Maybe I would do it all over again if given the chance. And I certainly hope there will be (at least) one more chance.

Now if I could just get Zales and Kay and DeBeers and all those other folks, who are desperately trying to financially rape unsuspecting romantics by enticing them into buying outrageously overpriced diamonds and gold for their sweethearts this holiday season, to just go the fuck away this may not be a bad Christmas after all.


On another note, I'm sorry it has been a while since my last post. Things have been a bit busy. It's actually been kind of nice to have some social obligations of late, particularly this time of year. It's good to spend time with family, friends and colleagues. It's shaping up to busy a busy month. So, my apologies if the posts get a pit sporadic.

This month the ol' Digital Fishwrap will celebrate it's first birthday. I've been doing this for a year, and I'm still not sure what the goal, or theme, of this blog is supposed to be. And maybe there isn't one. Maybe it's just a way to puke some words onto a digital page and see what patterns they make as they slide down the screen. But sometimes it's fun, and it's led, indirectly at least, to "meeting" some nice folks who like to write, and have a knack for it. So, that can't be all bad, now can it?


Anonymous said...

I bet it would be hard to deal with the loss of a love and all its anniversaries, whether they happened around a holiday or not. But I agree that December is often tough enough without all that heartache. Hang in there. I swear it gets easier over time.

And congratulations on the blogging anniversary!

kat said...

ditto the caitlinator's comments. 100%.

Brat said...

I'm free in April! How does that sound?

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