Women are still a mystery

Here I am, rapidly approaching 40, and I’m not sure if I understand woman any better today than I did in my 20s.

I got a Christmas card in the mail today from my ex. My ex now lives on the other side of the continent. At this time last year, I was shopping for an engagement ring for her for Christmas, which I gave to her on Christmas Eve. And she accepted the gift and wore the ring for about almost 6 months before giving it back to me one June day. It’s a day I’ll never for get.

Well, it would be hard to forget the day when the woman you love and plan to marry tells you “not so fast buster. Take your little trinket back.” OK, so that’s not a direct quote, but the effect is the same. What the hell is a man supposed to do with an engagement ring, without a fiancée’s finger to put it on? I still haven’t figured that one out. So, for now the ring resides in a lock box, until I figure out how to sell it or what the hell to do with it. But if that wasn’t enough to etch that day indelibly into my mind, it was also my parents’ wedding anniversary and the day former President Ronald Reagan died. A historic day to be sure. Like I will need all those stories in the media every June on the anniversary of Reagan’s death to remind me of the day my world fell apart, let alone the fact that it’s my parents’ anniversary.

So like I said, I got a Christmas card from my ex. I’m not quite sure what to do with that either. I didn’t send her a card. I didn’t send out any cards this year actually. Just wasn’t in the spirit.

So, as one might imagine, it has been hard to separate memories of my ex from this so-called festive holiday season. I’d be happy to skip this Christmas, thank you very much. Let’s just get on with 2005. But interestingly enough, my subconscious mind was not focus on me ex this morning when I was awakened from a dream by the ringing telephone. I was actually in the midst of a great dream. A sex dream no less. But it was not my ex in the dream, or at least not that ex. Although I was dreaming about getting down and dirty with a former lover. But this lover was one from a few years past. We weren’t exactly boyfriend and girlfriend. That wouldn’t be an appropriate description, considering that my former lover was actually married at the time of our dalliance. She has divorced and remarried in the interim. I’m not quite sure why she was on my subconscious, sleeping mind this morning. But I’m not sure that sort of thing should be analyzed too deeply. Sex dreams are not to be questioned, merely enjoyed. If it weren’t for that damn ringing telephone, who knows how that one might have ended.

So, was thinking a bit about that former lover today. We’ll call her T, to protect her privacy and that of her family. But T was a good friend when I needed one, and certainly taught me a thing or three about male-female intimacy. I will forever owe T a debt of gratitude for that. Hopefully, she got some benefits out of the deal as well. We were never destined to be a couple. But we made more than a couple of good memories together. And we experienced a few firsts together as well. But the dream I was having this morning was not a replay of any of our erotic adventures. It seemed to be a completely new situation. If only that damn ringing phone hadn’t spoiled the dream. I didn’t answer it, but it woke me up anyway. I tried to go back to sleep and return to that blissfully erotic dream. That never works. I hate it when that happens. Especially when the only intimacy you experience is in a dream, and even that is a rarity, you certainly don’t want to miss out on those opportunities.

Even women in dreams are a mystery to me. But then again, a little mystery makes life – and dreams – much more interesting.

Relationships
Dreams
Sex