A touch of home

There's an old saying that home is where the heart is. I supposed that is true. But if you take that a step or two farther, home is where family and friends are.

For many years I've lived a long distance away from family, but have been fortunate to make friends and eventually came to think of someplace other than my "home" state of Oregon as home. Palm Springs became my home.

Well, now I'm back in my home state, but it has not become my home yet. Yesterday, at a wedding of a couple of former coworkers, I was fortunate to get a visit from home. In addition to the couple getting married two other couples who I used to work with were also in Portland for the wedding.

It was good to see some old friends. We spent hours talking and laughing and sharing memories, and just chattering about a lot of inconsequential stuff. It was great.

It was undeniably a good day.

It was a good day for another reason too. It was a good day for the things that I wasn't thinking about. If you've read into the archives, or have been a long time reader (and if so you really need to find better ways to spend your time) you may know that I was engaged up until about a year ago. In the time after I got engaged until now I have been to several weddings. In the last year and half I've been to four weddings; on in Florida, two in Portland and one in Palm Springs. In fact one of the couples who was at the wedding yesterday got engaged about the same time my ex and I did. There were three couples, counting my ex and me, that all got engaged about the same time. The other two couple are now married. Me, well, not so much.

But the odd thing, the good thing, is that my ex was not on my mind yesterday. I did not have those thoughts of "I wonder if my wedding would have been like this." It was just a day for celebrating the love and commitment of two former colleagues, and spending quality time with some other former colleagues. No sappy sentimentality on my part. Just happiness for the newly wed couple, and for seeing some old friends.

I guess what got me thinking about what I wasn't thinking about is that one of the former colleagues mentioned my ex's name toward the end of the night. We all used to work together, and K was talking about how she has this picture on her desk of several women and how she is the only one still left in Palm Springs. The ex was one of the women in the picture.

And I realized at that moment that a shiver no longer runs through me when someone mentions my ex's name. And I realized how much she had not been on my mind yesterday.

That was fine with me. Yesterday was about ongoing relationships, not ones that are dead and buried.

We are now scattered in three different states -- Georgia, California and Oregon, but for one day we all came together to share some toasts, a few laughs and a few hugs.

It was a great day thanks to some good friends.

Friends