The old stuff never sounded so flat

I meant to post this days ago, but got sidetracked. I watched Garth Brooks' concert on Friday, Jan. 21, on CBS, which was part of one of 5 concerts he played over the weekend at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. As a long-time Garth Brooks fan, it pains me to say, but Brooks was not in prime form, or great voice. In fact, he was frequently off key.

I admire the fact that the so-called retired Brooks' put on the concerts to benefit Southern California's firefighters after last fall's devastating wildfires. But it also smacks as grand promotion for Brooks' new collection, "The Ultimate Hits."

I do like the two (of three) news songs in the collection that I've heard so far, including a remake/duet with Huey Lewis of "Workin' for a Livin'." But I don't know if I'll buy the collection, as I own all the other songs in the collection, and I don't have much interest in the music videos in the collection, as I just don't watch music videos that often. Unfortunately, Brooks does not have a deal with iTunes to allow for the purchase of just the songs I would want. I mean, Garth, I like you dude, but you've got enough money, and I don't have any need to spend more money on songs I already own.

And Garth, after such a long hiatus, I'd suggest next time you don't do a national broadcast of your first concert back on stage. Perhaps the screaming fans in the Staples Center didn't notice, but my friend, it was not your best outing on stage. The firefighters benefited, and perhaps the fans in the arena did too, as you don't get out much anymore. But for this fan watching on TV, it was a disappointment, as is the fact that I can't now buy your music how and when I want to buy it.

Fortunately, for fans of Garth Brooks' music, his exclusive distribution deal with Wal-Mart has now ended, so if you want to buy his new album you can find it at other music outlets.

Just not iTunes.

Small things

Today marked a return to normalcy. The day was marked by the normal Sunday routines of watching football and doing laundry. OK, maybe it wasn't a completely normal Sunday, as there was no beer drinking while watching football.

I'm feeling pretty well healed, but thought that my body didn't need to be abused in that manner today. Nothing exciting. But after being sick so so long and not having TV for more than a week, the small things are feeling pretty good.

Gifts from the family

The family has returned from their holiday festivities and my pet-sitting duties have ended. I've turned over the leashes and am now left alone in my apartment. I think I'm going to miss the cuddly company.

Perhaps I read too much into it, but it was almost as if the critters knew our time was short today. The cats kept close to me today, taking turns napping on my lap or next to me on the couch. Or maybe they were just cold and taking advantage of my body heat. I choose to think they were sensing something unseen, like the way animals are reported to sense earthquakes before they are felt by people.

That's the wonderful thing about pets. Humans imbue them with emotions and characteristics that we hope they are displaying. I'm going to miss my furry friends until out next visit, no matter how long or short it may be.

It was also good to see my daughter today too, and hear about some of the things happening in her life. The details of boys, school, family and the events of Thanksgiving I missed out on.

I also got a bit of "payment" for my pet sitting. My daughter's mom and her partner gave me an extra TV they had that they don't really use anymore, so now I have access again to television, just in time for NFL football on Sunday! So, I may not have warm furry bodies to cuddle up with, but at least I have a new electronic companion for company.

The gift of time with my family's pets, my family and the generosity of the family leaves me feeling very warm on a chilly night. The calendar may have said Thursday was Thanksgiving. But for me, today I have even more reasons to be thankful.

I didn't mean to clean

Perhaps I managed to sleep through it for a while, but immediately upon waking this morning I noticed a high-pitched, mechanical "chirp" outside my bedroom door. The intermittent sound was the annoying call of a dead battery in the smoke detector.

OK, I admit I didn't do the whole safety thing that fire departments advise when you set your clocks for the time change, where you also change your smoke detector battery. Not this fall. Not earlier this spring. Not ever in this apartment. That battery has been in there since virtually my first day in this apartment more than two years ago. But I'll come back to that.

So, in my groggy first-awakening state, I made the most rational decision I could deduce at the time. I crawled back in bed and pulled the covers up over my ears. That definitely didn't solve the problem. The blanket did not block the sound. If anything it seemed as if the chirping was happening inside my scull. I thought briefly that if I had a thin stick, maybe I could go in through my ear and make that sound stop. Something prevented me from trying that, but it sure wasn't any form of rational, cognitive thought process.

So I got back up.

Maybe I should stop the sound at the source, rather than inside my head.

I decided to scavenge a battery out of my answering machine. I knew that battery was fresh because I just put it in there a few weeks ago after canceling voice mail service on my phone and dragging my old answering machine out of mothballs.

So, using a kitchen chair, I fumble around with the smoke detector and unfasten it from the ceiling mount. So far so good. But I can't get a very good look at it because the electrical wires running to it are still connected and keep me from pulling it down to eye level. I twist the thing around, scanning it from side to side, front to back, apparently looking for some big arrow or something or bold directions on how to open the thing. In my groggy state -- attributed to just waking up, cold medication hangover and the lingering effects of the bug that's been kicking my butt -- I see nothing. There is no way to open the damn thing. None.

So I put it back, climb down and wonder what to do next. So, I decide to call the apartment manager's office and see if they can send a maintenance person to either fix it or show me how to fix it. But of course when I call the office wasn't yet open, so I left a message on their answering machine/voice mail.

Then I look around the living room and kitchen and see evidence of my poor housekeeping skills strewn all about the room, spilling off the coffee table, overflowing the garbage can and collecting in the sink.

If company is coming, I need to tidy up, I thought, and set about doing just that. Obviously, I was still not fully awake, because when thoughts of house cleaning occur to my conscious mind, I sit down on the coach, put my feet up and wait until those thoughts pass. It usually only takes a few moments. Particularly if the TV is on and the remote is handy. But the TV is still broken, so my procrastination device of choice was not available.

So after an hour or so of tidying, I was content that the place no longer looked like a rat's next. Just a bachelor's apartment which hadn't been cleaned in a few weeks. The perfect look I was going for.

All that physical exertion, besides bringing on a coughing fit, also severed to wake my up and get my brain functioning. I remembered that when I first started moving stuff into the apartment the smoke detector was chirping. I told the office about it, since I figured it was their problem and something not working in my new apartment. But a day or two later, when I was moving in and planning to spend the night in the place for the first time, the detector was still chirping. I didn't remember how I figured out how to open the thing, but I knew I replaced the battery in there, because I remember the office staff telling me they still needed to send someone to check it out even though I told them they took to long and didn't need to send someone anymore.

So I knew it could be done. I knew I could do it, because I had done it before. So, being more fully awake, I took another crack and the annoying safety device in the hall. And this time, I could clearly see the battery cover door. But the door was blocked by the plastic housing the electric wires from the ceiling went into. Well, obviously, that housing must detach I thought. Where was that logic and reasoning skill an hour earlier, when I really needed it, before I was forced to clean! So, I squeezed the plastic housing on each side, and sure enough, the sized retracted and pulled free from the device. Then I was able to easily access the battery.

In a few minuted I had swapped out the battery and put the device back up on the ceiling.

This adventure proved a few of my long-held theories.

1. I am not a morning person.
2. My brain doesn't function correctly when I'm sick. In technical terms, it's know as feeling ooogie and blah, or having a brain cloud.
3. Housework really can be avoided if you are willing to work hard enough at it.

Well, I'm hoping the worse of the brain clouds, nasal congestion, coughing fits and other assorted ickiness, which need not be divulged here, are soon to be behind me (especially the undivulged ickiness).

Here's to hoping you are suffering no brain clouds or other ickiness for the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving all.

Wrapped in a comforter and still uncomfortable

Spending the weekend home alone and sick, without even a television for company makes me realize how much I rely on the television as a surrogate for socialization.

I didn't get to hang out with my regular Sunday friends like Terry, Howie and Jimmy and Bob, Cris, Al and John, not to mention Faith. And the day has not been complete since I didn't get to cap it by spending quality time with my Brothers & Sisters.

Today, my closest companions have been a glass of orange juice, a box of cold medicine and the comforter on my bed.

Cold comfort, that.

Is there life without television?

As my friend Gene pointed out in his comment on my previous post, being down with a cold is a great time for feeling sorry for yourself. I am doing my best to elevate that to a high art today -- in between naps.

I didn't have the most restful sleep last night, as my coughing and stuffy nose woke me up several times through the night, but I did manage to spend about 12 straight hours in bed. When I did finally get out of bed, I still wasn't feeling hungry even though I had skipped dinner last night. So I settled in on the couch for a long day curled up under a blanket and watching college football. But when I hit the button on the remote to fire up the boob tube, I was only greeted by a mocking silence. The TV is dead.

It's the second TV to die on me in the last year. The little second-hand TV I had in the bedroom died some month back. Now the one in the living room gave up the ghost too. As if being sick was not enough reason to feel sorry for myself, the prospect of enduring days of illness at home with no television left me completely depressed. With a congested head, I can't think clearly, but I'm not sure what to do about this latest development. Buying a new TV is decidedly not in the budget right now. So rather than spending money I don't have on a new television I may just cancel my cable service and try living without any TV at all for a while. I could certainly do with one less bill a month. But I am afraid that with no TV at home I will end up spending more money outside the house.

So I'm not sure what to do. I am hoping that once this fog that's enveloped my head lifts, a course will become clearer. But in the meantime, I spent the day today listening to about 8 hours of radio including the pre- and post-game shows from my beloved Oregon State Beavers football game. I would have much rather watched the game, but as it was, it gave me the opportunity to stay up on the game and sleep off and on throughout the afternoon. Fortunately, the Beavers won in spectacular fashion, or the day would have been pretty much a complete loss.

If anyone has an extra television they are willing to sell cheap, let me know. Otherwise, I may be getting quite well acquainted with staring out the window for the next several months.

No small wonders

Did you see Kellie Pickler's performance Wednesday night on the Country Music Association awards on ABC? It had to be the most dramatic live performance I've ever seen.

Her music video for the song, while nice and very polished, lacks the power and raw emotion of her live performance.

I am not an American Idol watcher, so I have not known why Kellie Pickler was since her appearance on there. I've heard the name, but couldn't have picked her out of a photo lineup before seeing Wednesday's performance. And I guess I've been off the country music bandwagon for a while. Even the best country music stations seem to play too much of the same songs over and over. I got bored with the radio airplay, not the genre of music. So I guess I've missed Miss Pickler's songs out there.

I will definitely be adding the song she sang on the CMAs, "I Wonder" to my personal music collection.

The song resonates with me, and scared the crap out of me, probaby because I have missed so much of my daughter's life. I too wonder about the things she wonders about. Does she wonder why I haven't always been there? What questions may she have for me?

I hope that simple word -- forgiveness -- is something my daughter is able to do.

I'm not ashamed to say the tears streaming down Kellie Pickler's face during her CMA performance were matched in volume by my own. The words she sang were obviously not just lyrics to a song. They were the story of a life, real and raw, painful and yet proud.

Good Morning America did a nice job covering the story behind the song and Pickler's emotional CMA performance.

Bravo young lady. Thanks for letting me cry right along with you, as a flawed parent who wonders too.

Sopranos die with a whimper

The series finale of "The Sopranos" on HBO was not worth the wait. Fortunately I didn't have anything better to do this evening or I would have been pissed that I set aside time to watch the lame ending to what had been an often-surprising TV drama.

Perhaps the rapid cut-to-black ending was supposed to serve as some sort of a cliff-hanger ending and leave us all in suspense, as we were obviously supposed to think that Tony might be close to being clipped. But if that was the case it didn't work.

It seems that the show's creator, David Chase, who wrote and directed the disappointing final episode, didn't know how to say goodbye to his characters. I've tried to watch the last few episodes of this series which was once a must-see. But frankly, toward the end I didn't really care much for the characters anymore or their problems, large or small. Either they had moved on, or I had, but either way, the show is now gone and I shed no tears in the final frames.

So long Sopranos. Rest in peace and I'll try to remember you fondly for what you once were, not what you became, which was boring TV.

Rise of the machines

The machines in my life are turning against me.

There's something wrong with the TV in the bedroom. Every time I turn it on now it turns itself off after about 5 or 10 seconds.

My laptop is showing solidarity with the TV. It sprung a hinge a while back. Now it won't boot up.

My desktop is on its last legs and I expect it to give up the ghost any day now, especially if it learns of the other devices currently on strike in my home.

I'm expecting the cell phone to join the picket line soon.

It's a conspiracy to cut me off from the outside world. I just know it.

Can't get no broadcast satisfiction

Wanting something is not always enough. Having passion doesn't ensure you will get what you desire. Deep affection can't conquer all.

Yes, that's right, I'm talking about TV executives canceling favorite TV shows.

One of my favorite TV shows of the 2006-07 season is/was Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip. NBC executives, in their infinite audacity, canceled the show, putting it on hiatus mid season. But I will give them credit, they have brought it back, with six new episodes on Thursday nights.

Of course the didn't seem to bother to promote that fact until like today! I caught a commercial for it earlier in the evening, so I did get to see tonight's show.

I know it's too late for Studio 60, but I'm glad we'll get to see a few more shows. But I don't understand what TV executives are doing these days. Their latest genius move is running shows for several episodes, then going into reruns, or substituting some other show for several weeks, before bringing the original show back for a few more episodes.

Don't these dumb shits realize that I really don't need network TV. There aren't that many network shows I care to watch anyway. But if they keep jerking me around with the shows I like, throwing reruns in a month or two into a new season, I can very easily get out of the habit of watching their show or channel all together. Between cable, premium cable and the Internet, I have plenty of ways to waste my time without their teasing little scheduling games.

The TV shows I care about anymore is a pretty short list, and that list is much shorter than it was when the season started. Studio 60 got the ax. Men in Trees fell out of the the ABC lineup but has apparently been renewed, although isn't impossible to tell when the next episode will air. Grey's Anatomy is over for the season. Brothers & Sisters is also over for the season. I guess it's time to put the series finale episodes of the Sopranos and the latest season of Entourage on my priority list. And Big Love should be starting up again soon.

I like Studio 60. I want Studio 60. I've missed Studio 60. Unfortunately, like many things in life, a future with Studio 60, no matter how desirable, is just not in my hands.

Thank God for cable.

New show takes me back

I just watched the first episode of the new series "October Road," and they were playing a lot of retro music. It got me sort of in a retro mood.

So, here's a little '80s party shuffle for the occassion.

Janie's Got a Gun -- Aerosmith
Hit Me with Your Best Shot -- Pat Benatar
Blister in the Sun -- Violent Femmes
Ain't Even Done with the Night -- John Mellencamp
Wrapped Around Your Finger -- The Police

iTunes exploration continues

In my last post, I mentioned that I downloaded the new NBC TV show, "Conviction" that debuts next week. I ended up watching the show on my iPod later, and was pleasantly surprised with both the picture quality and the show itself.

I could really see some value to downloading TV shows or movies to the iPod when traveling, although watching the video burns through battery power faster than listening to music only.

As for the show, if you are a fan of the show "Law & Order," you will recognize some of the same production qualities in "Conviction" as well, as they are from the same producer, Dick Wolf.

The show features an ensemble cast, and the pilot episode does a pretty good job of introducing you to the characters and some of the demons they may have to wrestle with in future episodes while telling multiple storylines.

I won't intentionally try to keep my Friday nights free so I can watch this show or "Las Vegas," which is also moving to Fridays. But if I'm home, I know I can at least hang out with these two ensemble cast for a couple of hours and pretend I have a life.

I spent some time exploring my iTunes software and the iTunes music store in a little more depth. I found some interesting features, like the fact that I could create my own mix of music on my iTunes, perhaps to convey a certain mood, and share it with others. For example, you could check out my mix, and if you like it, or even some of the song on it, you could buy the tunes for yourself. It's like sharing music across the miles in a fun, and legal, way. Very interesting.

I'm not sure if I will post any of my playlists or not, but who knows. I also like the Essentials feature, where you can look at recommendation on music from various artists, years or genres decide if you want that music for yourself. And if you do, you can buy the music one song at a time or the whole compilation.

I also plan to check out a couple of podcasts, one on the blues music scene in Portland and one on the Portland music scene in general. I like blues music, so that may be a great add. I'm not sure if the other one will fit my tastes or not, but I'm curious to know more about the music scene in this part of the country.

Maybe I'll listen to some of the podcasts this afternoon while enjoying some of the Willamette Valley scene on a little drive.

TV
Conviction
iTunes
Portland, Ore.
Music

Coming to the really small screen

For many years I used to work a swing shift, so prime time episodic televisions was just not my things. Whatever the hot shows were in the early part of this century, I couldn't tell you because I didn't see them because I wasn't home.

Fortunately, that meant I never became part of the whole "Survivor" craze or any of the other plethora of reality TV shows that have become part of our country's pop culture identity. That doesn't mean I haven't seen an episode or two along the way, but I've never seen a whole season.

Thanks to cable and some innovative syndication deals I did become a fan of some shows like "NYPD Blue," "Law & Order" and "West Wing" because they were available at non-prime times on cable networks like A&E and Bravo. I could watch whole batches of seasons in a matter of weeks or months. Of course sometimes I was a season, or two or three behind the curve, but it was all new to me.

Now, I'm working a shift that allows me to be home for prime time viewing, but I my TV viewing habits have not really changed. I still tend to favor cable networks or premium movie channels over broadcast networks. There are some exceptions. I'm still a fan of "West Wing," now in its final season. "Desperate Housewives" has become a favorite. And "Boston Legal" and "Grey's Anatomy" are shows I try not to miss. But I certainly don't plan my week or my life around what's on TV on which days.

So why did I spend part of my evening tonight downloading a TV show to my iPod? I still haven't quite figured that out. When I bought my new iPod just a few short weeks ago I figured I would never use the video feature on the thing. I asked "Why would anyone want to watch a TV show or video on such a tiny screen?" And now here I am downloading a TV show.

But the price was right. It was free. I was tempted to download a few episodes of the classic Saturday morning public service announcements "Schoolhouse Rock." Remember that series? "Conjunction Junction, what's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses." Or "I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill." But they wanted money for those and I didn't want to see them badly enough again to pay for them.

But NBC is doing something really interesting. They are releasing the pilot for their new series "Conviction" before the show even premieres on TV. You can download the episode for free through iTunes now and show doesn't broadcast until next Friday.

So, it remains to be seen if I will actually watch the episode on the really small screen of my iPod before the show debuts, or even if I will watch the show on the somewhat bigger screen of my television. But but the price was right. And my Friday nights are pretty dull these days. So, you never can tell.

iPod
iTunes
Television
Podcasts

Award-winning ticket

I have to admit, I really wasn't aware that the Golden Globe Awards were taking place until yesterday. But if the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are good judges of quality cinema, it looks like I have spent my movie ticket dollars wisely so far this year.

OK, so as I mentioned in my last post the only movie I've seen at a theater in more than a years has been "Brokeback Mountain," which won four awards last night. I ended up watching part of the awards show last night, for whatever reason, and it further reiterated that I wish I had seen several of the movies that were up this year.

Among the movies that I wish I would have seen are "Walk The Line," "Capote," "Good Night, And Good Luck," and "Transamerica".

Oh well, eventually they will make it on to HBO, Cinemax or Encore, right?

But I've taken the plunge again, getting past whatever demons have possessed me of late that have kept me from venturing out as a single person to go solo to a movie theater again. Yea, the experience isn't as rich as it is to go to a movie with someone who you can talk about the performances with afterward. But then again, sitting home on the couch isn't real culturally or socially enriching either.

Movies
Golden Globe Awards

I love Ann Curry even more now

I learned something new today while watching the "Today" show. They were talking about the torrential rains and pounding Oregon and the Pacific Northwest on there this morning. Matt Lauer mention that news anchor Ann Curry was from Oregon and had family here.

I didn't know that.

It turns out Ann Curry grew up in Ashland.

When I was studying journalism here in the mid 1980s, Ann Curry was not the household name she is today. Of course from just seeing her on TV every day, I wouldn't have expected her to be. If anything I would have assumed she is younger than I am.

Back in my youth when I was an aspiring journalist, Curry had just left Portland's KGW TV. I found out that she spend some time, as I have, in Southern California. Unfortunately, I also discovered the Curry also is a Duck, a graduate of the University of Oregon. But I will try not to hold that against her.

But I guess the thing I see as most thrilling is not how Curry serves as an inspiration to people like me, as a fellow Oregonian and journalist, but how she may serve as an inspiration to people like my daughter. It could not have been easy to be a child and young woman of mixed race (Curry's mother was Japanese) growing up in Southern Oregon.

It gives me hope that my daughter, as a half-Latino young woman, will have every opportunity to overcome the prejudice that still exists in the world and achieve whatever she strives to achieve.

Curry is a good role model for women.

Oregonians
Today show
Ann Curry
Mixed race

Shuffle up and deal

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. I was up in Portland housesitting for a family member.

Well, to be honest, that isn't the only thing that's been consuming my time. I've got a new addiction.

Yes, I'm hooked. I've taken up gambling online. Playing poker. Texas Hold 'em.

I've been entering tournaments on Bravo's web site.

I just finished by best showing so far. Out of 1,196 entrants in that particular tournament I made it to the final 4 tables and finished 35th. Pretty fucking cool eh?

OK, I'm going off to bed before the urge to sign up for another tournament hits me.

I'm feeling a little guilt about the poker playing. I think I got Brat hooked too.

I'm such a bad influence.

Poker
Bravo TV

A fine farewell

Catholics know how to throw a funeral.

I watched part of the funeral of Pope John Paul II because I was up and because, well, it seems like one of those events that should be witnessed, even if on TV via satellite.

In typical Catholic fashion, it was solemn and full of pageantry, ceremony and colorful vestiments. But the most striking thing of this service was not the official aspects, but the emotions of the crowd. There was applause for John Paul, several times. Love and reverence and tears, to be sure, but applause, and signs and flags and chants from the crowd calling for the pope to be recognized as a saint.

Pope as rock star.

Thousands upon thousands, million perhaps, offering ovation after ovation. For I while I forgot that this was an event attended by heads of state from around the world in expensive suits and dresses. It was the people in blue jeans and T-shirts that left the most lasting impressions. The people's pope got a rousing sendoff from the people of the world gathering in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican.

Now I know what they mean by celebrating a Mass.

Pope John Paul II
Religion
Ceremony

Maybe I've just got the song wrong

A change is coming.

I can feel it.

Like an arthritic knee can forecast a coming storm long before the clouds appear on the horizon. The question is, is this a benevolent storm or a the kind that gets you to tied in knots you'd swear your testicles were on backwards?

I can't tell. But I'm looking forward to it. Chasing it even. Maybe I'm like those crazy fuckers that look for tornadoes to watch them, measure them. Tempt the fury. Tempt fate.

Is there such a thing as fate? I've always sort of thought there is, but I've never found a map to mine. I just sort of stumble into things. The grand plan never seems to work. Or maybe I can't see it for the seemingly randomness of the moment. The patterns only emerge with some time and distance and perspective.

I never had a plan to become a writer or an editor. I never planned to become a father (or perhaps failed to plan in that case). I never planned to move to California, or Palm Springs for that matter. I had never even been to Palm Springs before I came here to visit a friend who was trying to convince me to apply for a job. And it was hot as fuck the first time I came here in August 1999, the streets were all torn up in downtown Palm Springs. There were no outward signs this valley would worm its way into my soul and become my home.

No plan, just seizing an opportunity. What the fuck, I had nothing better to do than take that first job as a temporary reporter. Nothing else was on the agenda when an editing job opened up and I thought "I can do that." I had no better place to be (and no condoms) that Fourth of July I ended up in the bed of the woman who would become my daughter's mother. I had no reason to stay on the cold, damp Oregon Coast when I got a call from a paper in California about I job I had forgotten I had even applied for months before. I had no compelling reason to stay in the little farming town when a friend called from Palm Springs.

And I have no regrets about any of it. It has all shaped and changed and molded my life and made me who I am and radically altered the things and people and places who have become important in my life.

But I feel another life-altering change coming on the wind. I don't know what it is or why or how it will manifest itself. But I'm drawn to stand, chin into the gale and walk toward it. Whether I am seeking it or it is seeking me, I know not. But I crave it, with a hunger known only to those who have been starved of their addiction (which reminds me, my tobacco stash is dangerously thin).

I recently applied for a job some distance from here. I may, or may not, still be in the running. But just the process of applying has changed me. It's made me less complacent. Less willing to accept the unacceptable in my daily life. It's helped me to realize I'm no longer content to watch life pass by, I want to race it to the finish. Oh sure, I know I'll probably coast for some stretches along the way, but I'm peddling now. Feeling the burn. It's time for some new challenges, whether I change jobs or addresses or toothpaste matters less than the fact that things need to be shaken up a bit.

It reminds me of an episode of the short-lived ABC series "Sports Night" by writer/producer Aaron Sorkin. The series starred Felicity Huffman (now of "Desperate Housewives" fame. One of the characters, Dan, played by Josh Charles, has this feeling that something is about to happen. In his case, unlike mine, he senses something ominous. He shares his feeling with his co-sports anchor, Casey, played by Peter Krause, now on HBO's "Six Feet Under."

The exchange goes like this:

Dan: There's a strangeness about this day.

Dan: "Eli's coming."

Casey: "Eli?"

Dan: "From the Three Dog Night song.

Case: "Yes."

Dan: "Eli's something bad. A darkness."

Casey: "'Eli's coming, hide your heart girl.' Eli's an inveterate womanizer. I think you're getting the song wrong."

Dan: "I know I'm getting the song wrong, but when I first heard it, that's what I always thought it meant. Things stick with you that way."

-- From Sports Night, Season 1, Episode 19: "Eli's Coming"

Eli's coming, ladies and gentlemen. It's either going to be major crash, or maybe someone will get laid. I'm hoping it's me.

Getting laid that is.

Not the crashing.

That would be bad.

Change
Eli's Coming
Fate

Irony

Q: Who is the voice of AIG auto insurance on the company's TV commercials?

A: Stockard Channing.

I wonder if AIG is her insurance company and if they will stick by her if she is convicted of driving under the influence.

By the way, Channing celebrated her 61st birthday this week. She was born Feb. 13, 1944.

Dear God, she's almost my mom's age. She's too hot to be nearly my mother's age.

Drunk Driving
Celebrities
Advertising

Nothing says I love you like...

Valentine's Day is just two days away, and corporate America is going it's best to help men and women, but mostly men I think, come up with that perfect romantic gift.

Of course there are ads on TV for diamonds, but not everyone has that kind of budget. I've heard radio and seen TV commercials for Vermont Teddy Bears as a romantic gift idea "for about the price of a dozen roses." Adam Carolla (of The Man Show and Crank Yankers) is pitching the cute and cuddly critters on TV. And on radio, George Noory, host of Coast to Coast AM is hawking the bears.

Based on those two pitchmen, I'm guessing the guys who will be sending those betters to their betrothed are guys who like pull-my-finger jokes or believe they've been visited by space aliens.

There as another interesting Valentine gift pitch on late night TV for pajamas from a company called PajamaGram. They were pitching comfy or sexy pajamas delivered in a nice little hat box.

Perhaps it is no surprise that PajamaGram is a sister company of the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. The marketing pitches, for very different products, were surprisingly similar, pitching a "unique" Valentine gift idea that if you order now can still be shipped in time for Monday delivery.

But the most unique gift idea comes from a division of McNeil-PPC, or the Personal Products Company. This is indeed a gift to be shared, but could also be enjoyed alone. Yes, that's right, it's KY Warming Liquid. And if you go to the Web site, you can get a free sample in time to melt your love's heart (or genitalia) for the holiday. You can also test your Valentine dating skills with a link to a Warm Up Date.

Nothing says I love you like a personal lubricant that gets hot when applied to intimate areas.

Is it getting warm in here, or did I just over do it with the free samples?

Valentine's Day
Romance