Thursday, August 11, 2005

Paranoid flasher

I don't know how they do it. The Heather B. Armstrong's and the Brandon Rogers' and the Julia Montgomery's, and the Tisha Sharp's and the Heather Hunter's of the blogosphere.

How do you cope when your real life and your blog collide? I mean there are people out there who not only have their names listed somewhere on their blogs, they post pictured of themselves. Crazy freaks!


I've come dangerously close to surrendering my sanity as well. I almost outed myself. Well, if anyone who knows the me behind the G read the right stuff they could probably figure out who is who and what is what. I'm caught between the urge to shut it all down or to throw open my digital trenchcoat and flash the world, so to speak.

OK, maybe I'm unduly influenced by a signed
poster I have hanging on my wall of former Portland Mayor Bud Clark exposing himself to a statue in the Rose City.
It's just that I'm feeling, well, exposed. I'm not sure I want to be exposed. I can't write "fuck this" and "fuck that" if mom starts logging into the blog now can I? Yes, I am the product of a repressed upbringing, so deal with. I have. By repressing it, thank you very much. But
Whoop, whoop, Mr. Mayor.

Perhaps I'm overreacting.

When a reporter from the Statesman Journal contacted me about a story she is doing on Salem area bloggers, I flirted briefly with the idea of consenting to an interview. But (and at the risk of pulling the trench coat open a bit further) I've been an interviewer before working on a story for print publication. I think I'd be a very bad interviewee. I've been a photographer, and I know I'm a shitty model (but that may have more to do with certain physical attributes, or lack thereof, but still I'm not comfortable in front of a camera). The say doctor's make the worst patients and lawyers make the worst clients. Well I don't need a whole lot of empirical data to tell me that I would be a nightmare source.

"Can we go off the record for a moment."

"Can you read that quote back to me?... Oh, that sounds like shit, let's try that again. How about if I say..."

"Oh, you can't use that. I was just, forming my thoughts, shooting the shit, you know. That wasn't intended for attribution."

"Um, well, uh. Hmmm, um, well. Oh fuck, I forgot how to work my tongue.

"How about if I just write you up a statement? You give me your questions and I'll write up responses. I speak much better in print."

So, on the week I start sharing what I now believe is way too much identifiable data, what happens? People start reading the fucking blog! Where were these people when I was writing about needing a nap?


On average about 20-30 people pick up the Fishwrap so to speak on any given day. The numbers have been pretty steady, but then over the weekend they fell off. Eight visitors. So, like an idiot, I wish to myself that more people would pop in. And what happens? More people start coming. The traffic had doubled or tripled the last two days.

So, I start pouring over the visitor data I have access to and I notice this domain: house.gov.
As if I weren't paranoid enough. If FBI or CIA.gov shows up, I'm moving to, um, well, away with no goodbye post either.

OK, so now I'm sounding like a tweaker on a two-day bender. I wonder if someone has slipped me something.

Did you hear something? Damn I need to start keeping the blinds closed. Either that, or I need to quit blogging naked.


Where's my trenchcoat?

And if my mother, or God forbid my daughter, ever finds this post, I don't really blog in the nude. And I have no idea who put those swear words in here.

Shit happens I guess.

11 comments:

Weary Hag said...

Aaah yes, but part of the beauty of electronic writing is that we don't truly know if anyone is who they say they are ~ and taking it a step further, if the photos we're looking at are the actual person the are captioned to be.

3rdtimesacharm ( 3T ) said...

When you become a Blog star, I get to say "I knew you when" ;-)
3T

grace said...

i'd be freaked out if you started getting fbi or cia or any gov types looking!

scary.

The G-man said...

WH, what? You mean people may not be 100 percent honest on their blogs?

And 3T, you are much more likely to be a blog star than I (which must chaps my ass). When you publish your book (which hopefully will not be a tell-all) and become famous, I hope you are kind enough to mention how you got introduced to this whole wacky blogging world.

And Grrr, I haven't seen any FBI or CIA domain names yet, but I did see one called "EasyStreet Online Services," which is highly suspicious.

ducklet said...

honestly, those bloggers who post their real photos and names are morons.

oh, wait...

well one of them is a moron, anyway ;)

The G-man said...

Really? Which one? Do share Brando. They will never know. Like any of those famous bloggers ever come here. Well, except for you of course, but I swear you read every blog on the planet.

3rdtimesacharm ( 3T ) said...

No worries there G-Man. ;-)
I'm only in it for reading about everyones lives and secrets! (I won't be telling mine) secrets that is.
One of my posts a long while back tells exactly how I got started. You were my mentor. (willing or unwilling. And I'm talking about blogging here);-)
3T

Chick said...

I can relate to the repressed upbringing...is that why I do not want my name used on my blog...is it?

How funny...you do get paranoid about it...those "full name" people are brave...or they do not censor themselves in life...

Love your style...have I told you that yet?

The G-man said...

3T, what good is having a blog if you aren't spilling all your embarassing secrets? OK, well, maybe not all.

And Chick, you're leaving me blushing. I think I'm in love. Because of your flattery, and, well, your Half-Naked Thursday photos.

Dagny said...

I was just involved in a discussion on another blog about anonymity. I thought that the reason why you blog is because you can say whatever you want without worrying about somebody being able to trace it back to you. My friends and coworkers know that I blog but they do not know my identity online. Things are exactly as they should be in the universe.

Tisha from Texas said...

I can't speak for everyone else, but I didn't start my blog with the purpose of being anonymous. It was and is a tool to help me publish my fiction works, but has grown to be a favorite hobby.
As for the pictures, I don't post my children for personal reasons. Brando is one of my heros in the blogworld, as are you DIG FISHWRAP, so he inspired me to post my own photo.
Does my real life intersect the blog world? Pretty much so, and that's fine with me. I have little if anything to hide at this point in my life, other than actual weight (ha ha).
It's nice to see what people look like that you read everyday. If that makes me a crazy freak, then so be it. A nice crazy freak hopefully.
Have a great weekend, sugar.

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