Tuesday, January 24, 2006

On the verge of surrender

I admit it. I'm weak.

My efforts to give up nicotine are faltering. I was on course and on schedule until last week, and somehow I got off track. Now I'm doubting my resolved to get back on it.

According to my stop-chewing-by-using-nicotine-gum program I am supposed to be down to one piece of gum every 2-4 hours. And for I while I was doing well at that, averaging a piece of gum every 3 hours or so, sometimes I could even get up to about the 4 hour mark. But about this time last week things went off course.

It started off by just popping an extra couple of pieces when the cravings got overly intense. In the following days, it got worse. I got weaker. And I was supplementing the gum increasingly with cigarettes.

Now, I'm back to using a piece about every 1-2 hours, and jonesing the entire time in between. It's gotten so bad that I'm thinking about quitting quitting all together, at least for a while. I am not sure I have the willpower, the fortitude, to accept the setback and soldier on. So, I'm seriously entertaining the notion of just buying a can of Copenhagen and enjoying the buzz of that pinch between my cheek and gum again. For a week or a month or however long it takes me to get my head back in the quitting game.

I think the biggest culprit, which I've also been battling for months, is boredom. I never would have suspected that boredom was so stressful, but it is proving to be a nerve-wracking bitch.

The only thing I've decided tonight is that I haven't made a final decision on the matter.

Maybe everything will be clearer after a cigarette.


3 comments:

GRT said...

Others will probably offer solace.

Intestinal fortitude.

xxxoooxxx

the Caitlinator said...

Ahhhhhh, no! Try to be strong, G-man. At least try. As though you wanted my advice.

3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said...

As a smoker, I'm not going to try and convince you to hang tough. Although that IS what we should all do when in the throes of withdrawal.
I also know, you can never "quit" an addictive habit for anyone else. You have to do it, because YOU want to be tobacco free. Realizing that withdrawal symptoms will have you playing mind games on yourself, because your body wants its fix!
Another trick I have used, which obviously only works if you want it to is HALT.
H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired
When the desire for one seems overwhelming, check halt and see if what you really are is one of these four things. and then have a game plan on how to meet the particular need that might be the driving force behind your desire for tobacco.
Good luck G-Man, I do know what you're struggling with.

3T

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