But, I'm not bitter on this holiday for love and lovers. Quite the opposite. I still believe in love and all the happiness we are told it brings in silly love songs and Hollywood happy endings.
Well, there is someone I consider my Valentine this Feb. 14, and I certainly hope she feels the same way. She has been a friend and so much more for a long time now, but over the last 7 months or so, she has been my salvation. My lifeline to being willing to entrust my heart to another. We have talked online or on the phone for hours, often to the detriment of her, or my, sleep patterns. And it has been invigorating, uplifting and exciting.
I never quite know how to describe our relationship to others, because while we have known each other about 7 years now, we have never met face to face. Is she a friend? Confidante? Lover? Yes, and more, and yet not someone I've been able to take home to meet mom or who's hand I can hold. The Internet is a wonderful, and cruel, thing sometimes. We have each explored dating and romance with others during this time, but we always seem to somehow find our way back to each other. I've called her D on here. Readers of this blog (all 5 of you) probably would recognize her moniker of "Brat."
I don't know what the future hold for us, but she has been here for me through a broken, and healed, heart. Frustrations about family and job and life. Our on-again, off-again correspondence has endured, even flourished, after we both thought the end had come and gone a few times due to circumstances one or the other of us found ourselves in. She is indeed a special, wonderful person who has helped make me a better person as well.
This time we have made a pact to not let time and distance successfully conspire to keep us forever as disembodied voices through a phone or computer. And I fully intend to seal that pact with a kiss.
No, there are no flowers or Vermont Teddy Bears, or lingerie, or even KY Warming Liquid packages en route to her door. Just my thanks, my appreciation and my deepest affection this day, and for everyday of the last 7 years and for untold years to come.Happy Valentine's Day D. You've helped me find my heart again. It was a bit battered and bruise, but essentially right where I left it -- resting comfortably in your hands.
Valentine's Day
1 comment:
Oh my! I can't think of a better gift then what you just said. I think you are very romantic.
I can't explain our relationship either. There are times that even I don't understand it, but I do know that what I have with you I have never had with anyone else. I am more intimate with you, 1500 miles away then I have been with a man in the same room. So I know we have something special! I think there are times I am in denial about how I really feel about you. My feelings run deeper and stronger then I am willing to admit.
The year + I spent without you was long, and the thought of not having you in my life was too much to take, but some how we found each other again and I am not going to let you get away.
So, yes, I consider you my valentine and I have for sometime. I am looking forward to that kiss and so much more. Oh, and just let me know when your next trip home is, I will make myself available to meet the family. I suppose I should make eye contact with you first though.
Happy Valentine's Day G-man and thank you for a wonderful 7 years! I look forward to the future!
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